Whilst going through the loft the other night I found a letter to myself that I could only open when I was married. I also had written one to my future husband.
It was pretty cool to read.
I still haven't let Dru read the one for him. I think with all my sorting I packed it up again and forgot where I put it. Oh well.
One thing that struck me though was my testimony!
It was really great to read!
Today I taught the death lesson in church!
I think it was one of the hardest things I've had to do. I still can't believe I did it.
I'm not even a permanant teacher, just a one time sub!!
Anyway I was crying before I got up to the pulpit. Never a good sign......................it just went downhill from there!!
I think I lost it a couple of times. One time pretty bad..............I think I was actually sobbing and had to get a much needed hug from a sister in the room.
I was asked if I could keep going, it was pretty sad.
I don't know if I ever stopped really crying the whole lesson.
My fathers' death is still so hard for me even more so because of how he died.
BUT in doing this lesson I got to study Joseph Smith's words.
What a great prophet and truly great man he is. What brilliant and inspired words he had to say.
I think I'll always be hanging onto the lesson and those words my whole life.
I have a testimony of this gospel and it's teachings.
Sometimes it's the only thing that gets me through.
And through reading that letter to myself I've realized how I've always had this testimony of the gospel and my saviour.
I think it's going to take a while before I can outwardly 'rejoice' the passing of a loved one, but I can work on it right?
I think in a lot of ways I do rejoice though.
I rejoice to know where he is and what he's doing.
I rejoice to know I'm going to see him again and be able to talk to him.
I rejoice because of the truthfulness I have in my life.
Most importantly though I rejoice in my saviour, because without him, all of us would be lost, and none of us would be seeing anyone in wonderful situations.
What would I do without this truth?
Probably not be able to rejoice about anything to do with death, that's for sure.
I'm pretty glad today's over, but I'm grateful for the experience, I think!
Nah I am.