Motherhood = going crazy one day at a time!

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Devil Child***

Where,oh where did my little girl go. Oh where, oh where did she go?  I think that Audrey has been possessed and she is truly the DEVIL CHILD this week.  On tip of all the shenanigans of yesterday, today she went to town early.  She broke into my bathroom an took another bottle of lip gloss.  Smearing it on her lips and then globes on the carpet.  After a stern chat i thought we were good to go.  Not so.  On an outing in the car she took the colored pens and drew all over her face!  While walking through the store she was trying to climb, touch, and destroy everything in her way.  I took her hand and she sat down and wanted to be drug through the store.  So I picked her up and we went on our way.  She then started to claw at my face like she was a cat.  So I put her down and held her hand while trying to get out of the store as fast as I could.  Upon getting home she wouldn't open her legs to undo the car seat buckle.  I said what is the matter.  Nothing was the answer.  It turns out she peed in the seat.  REALLY, it's been a year since she had an accident.  She did it on purpose.  I marched her right up stairs and put her in the tub clothes and all and hosed her down with a COLD shower.  She thought it was funny at first but she then began to shake in the cold.  She was crying and said she would act better if I turned it off.  SHEESH...

Monday, January 14, 2013


Do you ever have those days that you just know from the start are going to be bad?  Today is one of those days.  I was lying in bed enjoying my sleep when Myles ran in and said, "Mom, come quick, it's an emergency."  "Yoda had gotten into something and made a huge mess."  Upon investigation I found that the mess was not made by the dog.  Instead was made by a certain three year old, named Audrey.  She had taken the tooth paste, pink and blue flavors, the bottle of lotion, and a bottle of sunscreen and squeezed them out all over the floor in the hall.  Then she added several cups of water for good measure, and started finger painting on the carpet.  Yep, that's right!  Large pink and blue and white circles on the carpet.  And if that wasn't enough she then walked down the stairs, into the living room and went to find some "lips" in my purse, something that is off limits, btw.  She took everything out of the purse.  Then went into the other purses that were hanging on the coat rack.  She emptied them all out too.  Consumed all the "treats" found in them, pulled open all the bandaids and taped them to the side of the purse and moved on.  I guess she found a bottle of RED nail polish in one purse. She then paints her nails, her toes, her lips, and then her entire foot.  Oh and everything else that she was sitting on too.  That would be the sofa, the leather ottoman, and the rug under the sofa.  I have just spent 2 hours cleaning up this little tornado and I hate to say it, but some of the mess is permanent.  What possesses a normally well behaved child to do something like this all before the hour of 7 A.M.?   I need a vacation!

This was the mess I woke to.

Notice her fingers and lips are also painted.